13 Reasons Why, As A Christian, I Am Not Judging You

Since becoming a Christian, there have been numerous occasions where I have felt this sense of awkwardness or uncertainty from friends or family when I hang out with them. They seem to be worrying that I am now going to judge them for their behavior. Has my behavior changed? Yes. Has what I consider right and wrong changed? Yes. Has my inclination to judge others changed? Yes... BUT, rather than becoming more judgmental since giving my life to Christ, now I actually work really hard at not judging others.

That isn't to say that I am surprised when non-Christians worry about being judged by Christians. Unfortunately, one need only to look at the large number of anti-this or that groups on the internet, which spew jaw dropping hate supposedly in the name of Christ, to understand why people have this conception about Christians. But I want to share why it is a misconception to think that it is the Bible, or even God Himself, who urges people to act this way.

I want to begin by establishing a few outlining definitions here. A very basic definition of judge is: ‘to form an opinion or conclusion of.’ The type of judging I am talking about avoiding is more closely related to the word condemn. The definition of condemn being: ‘to say in a strong and definite way that someone or something is bad or wrong, to give (someone) a usually severe punishment, to cause (someone) to suffer or live in difficult or unpleasant conditions.’

There is a difference between judging to condemn and judging to discern, or: ‘to recognize or identify as separate, to come to know, to see or understand the difference.’ I am not trying to say that I wander through life completely blind and ignorant to what is going on around me. It is still important for us to be able to judge and determine right from wrong. I also think in the right circumstances, in the most loving way, we should be able to guide others to see when their choices may be harming themselves or those around them.

While I still struggle with remembering them from time to time, the below verses guide my interactions with people who may do or say things that are opposed to my own beliefs. I am a fairly new Christian, and I still have a lot to learn, but I hope that this list will help those I interact with understand that I am not focused on how ‘good’ or ‘bad’ their behavior may or may not be, but rather how I can best love them. So without further ado, here are thirteen reasons, from a Christian perspective backed up by verses from the Bible, why I am not judging you:

1. Because Jesus Straight-Up Tells Me Not To

“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

- Matthew 7:1-2
I think this one is pretty self-explanatory. As a Christian it is my hope to be transformed into being more and more Christ like each day. In this verse, Jesus blatantly tells us not to judge. Even more than that, He tells us that the way we judge others is also how God will judge us. I definitely do not want to incur any more or harsher judgment from God!

2. Because No One Is Saved By Their Own Goodness

"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast."

- Ephesians 2:8-9 

One of my friends posted a really great Timothy Keller quote the other day: “Those who understand the gospel cannot possibly look down on anyone, since they were saved by sheer grace, not by their perfect doctrine or strong moral character.” Bingo!

3. Because I Don’t Truly Know Anyone Else’s Heart

"The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

- 1 Samuel 16:7b
Sometimes we will say something along the lines of how we know that a person’s heart was in the right place, but really, only God knows another person’s heart. Since that is what God bases His judgment on, that is the thing I should be basing my judgment on, but since I don’t know anyone else’s heart, I simply can’t judge them! If I don’t know someone else’s whole background, their circumstances, or their true motivation and drive behind an action, how can I judge them? It just isn’t logical!

4. Because Even Though We Are All Different, We Are Also All Equal

"So in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise."

- Galatians 3:26-29

God loves us all equally. Another great verse is Romans 2:11, which puts it very simply: “For God does not show favoritism.” Just because someone is different, doesn’t mean that I should treat them as being any less than another child of Almighty God, and a brother and sister in Christ. There is no type of person that can’t be saved, and salvation is what I should (and do!) want for everyone.

5. Because I Should Be Focusing On My Own Sin

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?"

- Matthew 7:3 

Focusing on others who I think sin worse than me can be a way to rationalize, justify, and minimize my own sin, and make me feel better about myself; but it is just wrong. I shouldn’t be comparing myself to others in any aspect of life, and how can I truly think it is possible to help someone else, and be a good example to them, if I refuse to even acknowledge my own shortcomings first? I definitely still have plenty of my own struggles I need to be working on.

6.  Because I Know What It Is Like To Be The Worst Of Sinners

"Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his immense patience as an example for those who would believe in him and receive eternal life."

- 1 Timothy 1:15-16
To quote what would probably be my theme song if there was such a thing ‘Ah man you name it bra, I promise I done done it all.’ ('I Used To Do It Too' by Lecrae) Why would I condemn somebody for doing something that I have probably done in my lifetime as well? I know that if it weren’t for Jesus, I would have never changed my own behavior. Even if I find out someone is doing something I haven’t done, that maybe the world says is worse, with the path I was going down it doesn’t require that much of a stretch to imagine myself in that situation as well.  

7. Because I Am Personally Not Going To Change Anyone

"I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean; I will cleanse you from all your impurities and from all your idols. I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws." 

- Ezekiel 36:25-27

No matter how much I may want to or would like to be able to change someone else, it just doesn’t work that way. Change requires a choice from each individual person to allow God Himself to come in and do work. And God will do the perfect kind of changing in His own perfect time, so who am I to come along and try to tell someone else to hurry up and be at a different stage in life?

8. Because Non-Believers Shouldn’t Be Held To Christian Standards

“What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside?”

- 1 Corinthians 5:12
While I normally use the NIV Bible translation, I think for this verse the Message does a really good job of sharing the point being made here: “I’m not responsible for what the outsiders do, but don’t we have some responsibility for those within our community of believers? God decides on the outsiders, but we need to decide when our brothers and sisters are out of line and, if necessary, clean house.” I think it makes sense to hold those within the Church accountable to Christian standards, but considering the fact that we believe only God and His Holy Spirit can change people, if someone has not accepted Christ and received the Holy Spirit yet, how can they be expected to live a Christian life? Again, it just isn’t logical.

9. Because God Gave Everyone Free Will

“Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.”

- Revelation 3:20
Obviously you can see from Genesis with the story of the Fall, or how Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating from the Tree of Knowledge, that God gives us choices, and has given us free will. This verse shows that it is always our choice whether we are going to let Christ in. If God made the decision to give people free will, and He is omnipotent, omnipresent, omnibenevolent, and omniscient, it makes no sense for me, who is none of those omni words, to try and say that someone should no longer have that privilege.

10. Because Even Within Christianity There Are Absolutes and Relatives

“Accept the one whose faith is weak, without quarreling over disputable matters. One person’s faith allows them to eat anything, but another, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables. The one who eats everything must not treat with contempt the one who does not, and the one who does not eat everything must not judge the one who does, for God has accepted them.”

- Romans 14:1-3
Even if I think something is 100% right for me, that doesn’t necessarily mean it is right for someone else. Within Christianity there are certain absolute truths that are definite requirements in following Christ, but then there are other relatives, which God gives us a choice about. This is where different denominations come in. But those things aren’t the point or purpose of Christianity. If someone wants to give their life to Christ, I should share the absolutes with them, but never expect their walk to look exactly the same as mine.

11. Because I Am Never Going To Know Everything

“Can you fathom the mysteries of God? Can you probe the limits of the Almighty? They are higher than the heavens above—what can you do? They are deeper than the depths below—what can you know? Their measure is longer than the earth
 and wider than the sea.”

- Job 11:7-9
The universe is really, really big. God is really, really, really big. Way bigger than anything I can even begin to fathom. So, I think it is fair for me to admit that I don’t and never will know everything, that there will be times I am just totally wrong, and therefore I shouldn’t assume to always know what is best for everyone else. Also, Proverbs 11:2 - “When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.”  

12. Because There Are Way Bigger Issues I Should Be Focusing On

"For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’ Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’ The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’" 

- Matthew 25:35-40
There is so much scary, sad, unjust, horrible stuff going on in the world. Helping the people who are suffering because of all that stuff should always be a priority over religious legalism. To quote another friend’s awesome Facebook status: “I feel that most Christians in America are more concerned with the release of "Fifty Shades of Grey" than we are with the fact that over 50% of Christian men are addicted to porn. We care more about the modesty debate than we care about the child that dies every five seconds from hunger. And we're more infuriated that a gay couple just got married than we are at the news that millions of children are being sold for sex.” I think what he says is unfortunately very true, and it just isn’t right.

13. Because LOVE Is The Greatest Commandment

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

- Matthew 22:37-40
There was a time in my life where I was using Christianity as a means to just feel better about myself, and I was not making a conscience effort to better love those around me. Now, when I reflect upon that time, I don’t even believe I was truly saved, and therefore wasn’t even really a Christian. Christ dying for our sins is the ultimate example of love, everything He stands for is loving. If I want to follow Him, my priority should always be love.

I know before I became a Christian, many of the problems I had with Christianity actually had nothing to do with what the Bible says. I had a bunch of misconceptions based on how certain people calling themselves Christians were acting, or how my friends and the media described Christians. After actually reading the Bible, I realize that I was wrong about many, many things I previously thought. I happen to be of the opinion that actually knowing for yourself, as opposed to just assuming based on what others say, is always the better option; so I wish I had done some research myself sooner! 

For those of you who are not Christians, I hope this list helps you see that Christianity isn't in fact a religion that calls people to turn into a bunch of conservative, judgmental, elitists. When you see people judging others in the name of Christ, please know that any comments or actions that cause you to feel hated, shamed, or worthless are completely and absolutely not an accurate representation of Jesus. 

For those of you who are Christians, I know following these verses can be really hard. It may seem overused, but I really think it cannot be stressed enough: hate the sin, not the sinner. Sometimes we can get so caught up in wanting to zealously defend our God and all He stands for, that we end up pushing non-believers away, and therefore doing the exact opposite of what Jesus calls us to do. When I find myself struggling with judgmental thoughts, these verses really do help. I ask myself, I am trying to fight to be right, or to lovingly share truth? Sharing truth is the most loving thing to do. If I am just arguing for the sake of proving who knows best, I know it is time to check out that pesky old plank in my own eye and remember that love is always more important.